Thursday, December 17, 2009

I Am Acting At Being Myself

[ source ]

Everyone has been / is doing so much for me. I really don't understand
why. I mean, I'm trying to understand. Some part of me tells me that
it's because they are family and they love me. I feel love for them
too. But I am kind of numb to it all. In many ways, I just want to be
left alone, to wander around the rainy streets during the day, read at
the library, find a place to sleep at night. I still feel
disconnected. Like I am acting at being myself.

It's been over a week since I've used. Can't remember when that's been
the case. Drinking beer and wine. Don't have any jones for anything
else - although there are those hours where life is just not as
interesting as it was. I suppose I'll get over it.

Working on a few things, trying to get all the dust cleared out of my
mind. Not sure there is anything underneath.